Sunday, 6 January 2019

2017 and 2018

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  41 Albion Street,
                                                                                                   Stratton,
                                                                                                   Cirencester,
                                                                                                   Gloucs.
                                                                                                   GL7 2HT

Christmas 2017 & 2018

Dear Readers,

The (almost) annual migration of the greater spotted Tamsin to ever hotter climes has now taken place, serendipitously avoiding both the vicissitudes of weather and political ineptitude.  Neat!  Of course, it is possible that come the end of March, a giant red hand will be held aloft against all migratory species from now on, until all have died of exhaustion in trying to complete the inevitable brick-sized form, or been blown off-course by the chill winds and icy attitudes of this insulated and isolated Little England (sigh).  Even the sheep have mostly all migrated to Wales, having seen the writing on the wall … (clever creatures, these sheep).  We propose sneaking in the odd sheep whenever there’s a cabinet reshuffle … no-one would notice, despite the extra wooliness … baa! baa! beah!  Just another normal day in Parliament …   

Why no letter or Christmas Greetings last year?  Well, t’was an annoying series of bad luck episodes, such that I was beginning to think ‘Why me, God?’, and I didn’t think you’d want to hear from an incredibly grumpy old lady.  However, this year, I’ve changed my mind, and decided to subject you all to the full force of my crazed brain cell … haha!

2017

By May, Joab and the gang had finally finished re-roofing, strengthening, and wrapping an insulating blanket of hempcrete, cork and lime around Y Ddôl, our cottage in Wales.  However, this didn’t mean that it was actually habitable!  Electricians did their bit to ‘improve’ the electrics, i.e., converting all the lighting to 12-volt to make more efficient use of the electricity, especially in the winter, when electricity is in very short supply (the house being very much off-grid, and reliant on batteries for electricity).  Bodge-jobbers and plumbers (the same thing in our case!) took an eternity to finish a job that was kind of crucial to enable us to have hot water, even though we owed them lots of money!  Trust us to find a very rich plumber.  There was no point in ‘phoning during school holidays, as he was always at his cottage in France!  Another few months passed, and after being leaned on by Brian (officially carpenter and joiner, who was our ‘de facto’ project manager), the aforementioned plumber finally came home from France long enough to dig out a length of Rayburn chimney pipe that would connect to our section of pipe in order to increase its length to meet Building Regulations.  However … yes, you’ve guessed … nothing ever runs smoothly at Y Ddôl … the plumber was afraid of heights, and poor old Brian had to fit it, and all the connecting pipes for the solar vacuum panel, while Neil, the plumber, did the inside pipework.  But at least the Rayburn could be lit!  Another little milestone reached … would we live long enough to reach the end?  Will there be an end?  Grand Designs it certainly ain’t!

Whilst all this was going on, I was slowly being poisoned yet again, with various evil concoctions (hubble, bubble, toil and trouble … etc.), with even more evil side effects, in an effort to keep the tumour cells in check (biff! baff! boff!).  Before the dose was reduced, my brain cell was so frazzled that I couldn’t remember anything Bob had said even half a minute before, or make any connection between thoughts and muscles in my mouth, such that I kept having to change what I wanted to say in order to communicate (now that is extreme chemo-brain!).  And with Parkinson-like tremors, barely able to hold a cup, drinking was somewhat challenging, as was doing up buttons – anything that involved fine motor control was beyond me!  With different drugs, and more tolerable side effects, things gradually returned to normal …. until Tamsin and Manué arrived …..  the day before The Great Snow Storm of December 10th!

A couple of weeks before, and the day before we were due to visit for the first time since the previous year, Brian and his daughter Polly, had attempted to make Y Ddôl habitable again, by cleaning from top to bottom, and leaving us his industrial-sized vacuum cleaner and mop ‘in case we needed them’.  An understatement! 

We approached the house in slight trepidation.  Photos we had-a-plenty, but what would it be really like?  Outside .. gasps of awe and wonder at the workmanship.  Inside … lime dust hung in the air and covered every surface that Brian and Polly hadn’t managed to clean; the flagstones weren’t recognizable, despite their heroic attempts at hoovering and mopping; iron and steel were corroded due to the deadly combination of lime and exposure to the elements for a winter.  ‘Aargh! my lungs are clogging up with particles! … I’m gonna die!’ … (cough! wheeze! thud!).  Well, yes, but perhaps not quite that imminently.  ‘Hmm … this lever on the Rayburn is jammed … what happens if I ….’  (clunk! tinkle! tinkle!)  ‘Oh, ****! … the little door flap just fell off!’  ‘Now how will we control the burning … we’ll freeze to death … we’re doomed!’  Visions of house filling up with black smuts … again.  We sensed that the clean-up operation was going to occupy us for months to come …

And then our other house suddenly filled up with childish accoutrements … and people … and our peaceful life became anything but normal (sigh).  We’d definitely turned into a couple of old fogies … well, mostly me (snarl!). 

Tamsin had left the warm environment (depending on where you are) of La Palma specifically to attend her cousin Karen and Simon’s wedding.  Now we know that this was really important to her, because she hates the cold, and this was December!  As we woke up the following day, The Great Snow Storm was upon us.  Would we make it to Stratford-upon-Avon?  Should we even try?  Any other day, no.  But this was a wedding, and Tamsin had flown in specially.  We couldn’t give up at the first hurdle.  So, piling into our trusty 4x4, the Irvings bravely battled the elements along sensibly empty roads, until … ‘whoaaaa! … where’s the road gone?’ … (bump! bump! bumpety-bump! crunch! crash!).  Time slowed.  I watched as a tree came slowly towards me, crumpling the bonnet of the car on my side.  Time speeded up again.  The car crashed over a fallen tree and everything stopped.  My spine went crazy.  Each individual vertebra seemed to be jolted out of position and clicked back together again, accompanied by heat travelling from the bottom upwards – a very strange sensation!  Meanwhile in the back of the car, poor little Manué was hit above the eyebrow by either Tamsin’s arm or a flying food container.  What to do now?  There was no way we could travel to the wedding … or was there? 

Before long a Landrover turned up, and then just as we were deciding who to sacrifice to the wolves (probably Bob), another car arrived, having made it all the way from London to the white-out wilderness of Gloucestershire.  Hurrah, Bob was saved!  After a few games of Musical Chairs and tutting over the poor dead car, we all managed to find a seat, and trundled back, very gingerly at 15 miles per hour, to Cirencester.  And then … Rupert rode to the rescue!  Serendipitously he was late leaving, as usual, still at the practise room packing his drums into the van for his gig.  Yes, Rupert was playing in a band who were the evening’s entertainment at the wedding.  We just had to make it through! 

And thanks to Rupert, we did!  Just in time to appear on the wedding photos!  Everyone had an amazing time, dressing up and dancing to ‘The Curious Little Big Band’.  Miles, the singer, was such a good entertainer, that very few people could resist his charms and stay seated.  It was such an exhilarating evening!  However, having danced like crazies until we felt even more crumbly than normal (us oldies … ha!), a slow realization began to dawn that we wouldn’t see anything resembling a bed until 3 a.m. (nooooooo!!! … zzz … zzz  …), while we waited for the disassembling and packing away of the drum kit.  Since Tamsin and Bob had only managed 3 a.m. the previous evening, thanks to Tamsin’s cheap flight from La Palma to Gatwick, this was doubly hard on them, especially as Manué had by this time been outside and become super-excited by the snow …. until he realized how cold it could be …

After this, there was no way that Manué could be persuaded to go outside.  When you’re used to running around outside in a t-shirt, or perhaps a sweatshirt at most, why would you want to wrap up in a ton of clothing just to feel comfortable, let alone actually enjoy playing?  However, this did mean lots of highly expensive visits to the indoor play-park and swimming pool, which we managed to make slightly more economically bearable by persuading Manué and the powers to be that he really was only four years old!  Thank goodness he’s quite a small boy!  

Ten days after the crash, just when all (all?) we were worried about was how to get from A to B, another totally unforeseen problem hove into view.  I stared into the bathroom mirror.  ‘Aarghh! … what are all these itchy, painful, weeping, red and yellow pustules?’  My brain cell rushed through a few possible options … an allergic reaction? … the plague? … alien take-over?  Well … it sort of depends how you define alien take-over, since it turned out to be shingles.  The chicken-pox virus had been lurking as a sleeper in my nerves for almost 60 years, awaiting its call to take over its world, i.e., Joy! (cackle!).  The shock of the crash, together with my already chemo-compromised immune system, prodded the virus into action (yawn! … what! …), which then ambled along the nerve fibres to the skin to try to infect anything that brushed past … and it hurt like hell!

Such bad luck!  Just as Tamsin was home for Christmas for the first time for years!  Ah, well, apart from Joy falling apart, Christmas with all the family united was fun … and somewhat different, in that we had a very non-materialistic Christmas, apart from socks and chocs … and Manué burning his way through what appeared to be the world’s supply of sparklers on the Christmas pud!  In spite of all this incineration, perhaps Manué wasn’t the reason for the apparent shortage of sparklers on Guy Fawkes Night one year hence (well, maybe only in our household …).  On the Eve before Christmas, while everyone slept, someone was hard at work (no, not Santa’s elves on last minute overtime …).  On Christmas morning many tiny Christmassy drawings and cut-outs, with little messages and hand-made vegan sweetmeats all tied up with string, (very ‘Sound of Music’), appeared before our eyes.  Tamsin had been very busy, and we loved her for it.  Tamsin could (almost) persuade us to be raw-food vegans, so good are her food creations, but I don’t think the old pension could stretch to buying the necessary ingredients!

And so to ….   

2018

Tamsin flew back to La Palma and Davor, her friend and on-off partner in foraged raw food living, and the house returned to its normal tip-like condition, despite the return of toys to the attic.  The ‘treatment’ finally came to an end, the evil ones were being eliminated, and I hadn’t felt this good for well over a year!

After the ‘Beast from the East’ finally departed, we determined to spend as much time as possible at our house in Wales, Y Ddôl, amongst the mountains.  After our enforced absence, the brambles had taken over completely, and as we hacked at the dense undergrowth, we were beginning to feel like the Prince rediscovering Sleeping Beauty!  Whilst pondering the problem of the sinking satellite dish (drying soil), a light-bulb clicked on somewhere in the inner recesses of Bob’s brain … ‘wasn’t there a patio behind the shed?’  We wielded the machetes, and fought with several metres of bramble spines (ow! ow! ow!), until suddenly, ‘Wow! … the patio … it’s really here!’.  So used to the complete bramble coverage were we, that we’d almost forgotten of its existence!  The satellite dish was very happy in its new home, and we were very happy with the long-awaited internet connection … though the odd noble fir in the wood does look ominously close to the satellite’s line of site.  More future tree maintenance (sigh) …

Having wall-to-wall (or should that be mountain-to-mountain) sunshine in the valley, at least allowed us the opportunity to check out which solar panels at the upper end of the ‘garden’ were being obscured by rogue hedge trees gone wild (easy to deal with), and worryingly those which were being shaded by Coed Cadw trees from above.  Since Coed Cadw weren’t happy for us to go on their land to hack the branches back, and it was going to be a specialized task that involved much swinging in the trees, juggling small and large chainsaws (gulp!), we had to be pretty sneaky!  We knew that the Coed Cadw ranger wasn’t going to be in the area until September, so we ensured that the tree surgeons did the job well before then.  They were so good at their job, in that they went back to the trees’ natural growth points, rather than just lopping off branches, that if you didn’t know they’d been there, you’d never guess.  I think we’re now safe (phew) … fingers crossed!  Now we have a few extra branches for logs, and a massive pile of branch chippings from the impressive giant shredder that they arrived with.  Hmm … could create a path, perhaps …    

In the unaccustomed 30° C heat, jungle fever took over our frazzled brains, despite the shelter of the old oak tree.  What other rediscoveries might we uncover?  ‘Shouldn’t there be apple trees hereabouts?’  A scan through squinted eyes peered into the middle distance.  Long thin upright whips bearing a bountiful crop of enticing red apples swayed slightly above the three-metre briar thicket, rearing up and over the path threateningly.  But nothing would deter Joy the Intrepid, as she sought to rediscover ‘the orchard’ (well, three trees), not to mention the rest of the ‘garden’, especially when such a prize awaits … eyes glaze over … saliva dripping (yeuk!) … all thoughts obliterated …‘must … have … apples …’  Just think how a sheep would feel in an orchard with the fruit dangling just out of reach … oh, the torture!  But at the sound of a snip, as the apple falls … quick as a flash before it hits the ground … so speedy!  Needs must when you're that desperate! 

Hack! snip! cut! (briars ruthlessly attacked), scratch! shred! bleed! (Joy ruthlessly attacked).  But eventually ... we found the trees and the water tank … but no Sleeping Beauty.  The apple trees appear to be 'Cornish Aromatic', 'Blenheim Orange' and 'Ashmeads Kernel' - wonderful traditional varieties.  ‘We’ve won the battle – yay!’  Oh, the excitement! (we don’t get out much) … maybe it may even be possible to come back from checking the water level without twisting an ankle, or getting Velcro’d to the vegetation … help!

But this is only the beginning – we have a war to win!  ‘Ha! you’ll be lucky’, think the evil lurking briars … ‘we have time on our side’ (much evil cackling)!  As Bob attempted to cut down a stray goat willow, and the odd out-of-control hedge tree, beech (?), the intrepid Joy hacked her way through the jungle, whilst at the same time trying not to crush the many milk-cap fungi springing up everywhere.  Despite the diverting tactics being employed by the resident agitated robin, two more long-forgotten compost bins, and two semi-remembered wood stores eventually revealed themselves … eureka!  I guess this must have been the Irvings’ ‘Sleeping Beauty’ moment – oh, Joy! (no pun intended).  What a voyage of discovery … though perhaps not quite on a par with uncovering the odd Mayan temple in the jungles of Central America.      

As the living 3-metre-high briars transmogrified into giant 3-metre-high briar ‘hay’ stacks, by using rakes as pitchforks, never had our crumbly townsfolk muscles been given such a workout.  On the other hand, workouts at gyms don’t usually cause flesh wounds.  To complete the scene all that was needed now was a guy on top, and have a giant bonfire!  However, it seemed a tad friendlier to the local wildlife if we gave them a home for the winter instead.  And the valley was tinder dry …  
     
On a day that was particularly hot, and us pale beings could only shelter inside, we noticed that the woodland at the end of the field was filling with a little smoke … a hotel barbecue at Devil’s Bridge? … a forest fire?  Crucially there were no flames.  We kept our eye on the situation, but it didn’t seem to become any worse.  We discovered on the internet that there had been a grass fire that had eventually burned itself out, and we thought no more of it.  However, a couple of days later, as we travelled back to Cirencester, we had a profound shock.  There was a massive fire on the other side of the valley, which threatened the little village of Aberffrwd.  Where a few days previously there has been lush green woodland, now vast swathes of the mountain-side had been transformed into mile after mile of smouldering blackened skeletal trees covered in a fog of rippling white smoke being carried along the valley by the gentle breeze.  Excitingly for us accidental tragedy tourists, a helicopter with a water scoop appeared periodically to drop its load on the smouldering forest to dampen down the burning.  Unfortunately, flames had broken out at a place further up the mountain, and so it was a bit hit-and-miss.  Luckily, the reservoir wasn’t too far away, and we were rather transfixed by the sight of the helicopter not-quite-landing on the water, whilst scooping up another load, then circling its target, emptying the scoop’s contents as it went.  Obviously mesmerized, we never noticed whatever other activity was going on, until a large buzzing thing circled our heads several times.  Could have been a giant hornet.  No, it was a baby drone.  Wow, we’d never seen one ‘in the flesh’, so to speak … too much excitement!  We decided that it must be BBC Wales, getting in some aerial shots, and therefore it was probably time to leave.  The rumour was that the little steam train that travelled between Aberystwyth and Devil’s Bridge several times a day was the cause of the fire, but the company never admitted it.  However, it was a strange co-incidence that the fire was all above the railway line, where the sparks fly, and not below …   

As the fields of Welsh soft green turned to Portuguese parched amber, and underdressed roasting Brits came to terms with completing the traffic-light analogy, everything ground to a halt … except the insects!  The farmer took to bringing water daily for the six young bull calves in the field, until eventually they ran out of food.  One day we arrived to an empty field, and we feared the worse.  Luckily, the creepy cluster flies saw no good reason to hang around just for us.  However, giant hornets still roamed the countryside searching for fresh victims.  Strangely, they seemed to be sexist, and only went for the nearest male.  Moral : always stand by your male, when confronted by giant hornets … (?)  Bees took up living space behind the bargeboards under the eaves of the house, and could be heard eerily humming in the heat of the day to keep cool … crazy hot place to build a nest, we thought.  Perhaps the heat was turning all creatures crazy, as Bob thought he had found a wasps’ nest in our ‘known’ compost heap … but later in the summer it wasn’t there … puzzling, as wasps don’t leave until Autumn.  Had they left early … or … had Bob’s brain cells turned too red and blotchy in the sun?   

When it wasn't too ravingly hot, and someone from Joab’s gang finally braved the evil giant hornets to do a spot of lime-infilling for us, where the new green oak posts had shrunk away from the lime coating, we eventually managed to lime-paint the house.  It’s now dark to light salmon-pink and many shades in between, depending on the underlying texture of the wall.  Not sure that was the intended colour, but it would seem that the lime coating the cork insulation takes up water from the lime-paint differently from the lime coating the hempcrete insulation … no we don’t get it either!  We’re calling it delightfully characterful.

At the same time, we decided to ‘sort out’ the solar thermal system.  We had wondered why it was that our solar thermal panel always seemed to be over-heating, whilst never actually producing any hot water!  Our thermal panel ought to have been producing loads of hot water (you’d think!), but according to Marcus, the solar thermal engineer, ‘it had been completely plumbed in wrongly’.  There are two types of solar thermal panel, and the plumber had only learned about one of these, it would seem (sigh).  Apart from the usual ‘we’re English, moaning about the weather is part of our national psyche’ reason, we prayed for cooler, well, non-sunny but dry, weather, otherwise Marcus might have fallen off the roof with heat exhaustion … and he was our only hope, being remote and off-grid!  Having worked out ‘a plan’ for our quirky situation, he spent two days enabling it, but couldn’t test it because it was … yes, you’ve guessed … raining!  Oh, the irony!  We do now have hot water … but only on really sunny days, and only enough for one and a half persons, just as Marcus foretold.  Life off-grid, eh?  It certainly brings it home to you just how much radiant energy is necessary to heat a tank full of hot water using a panel of vacuum tubes – about 6 hours’ worth of uninterrupted sunshine!  Next cunning plan – to divert some of the electricity produced from the photovoltaic array up the hill into the immersion heater.  And then … we won’t have to toss coins to see who gets to shower (yay!).

Late summer turned to Autumn.  The Irvings had fought the long fight with the briars, suffered many wounds in the process, but spurred on by the bountiful crop of delicious blackberries … oh, worth any amount of pain … tut! tut!  Joy, you masochist.  Even the apple tree that normally never produces fruit, ‘Ashmeads Kernel’ decided that the summer had been hot enough for it and took its chances.  Maybe it felt threatened by the long neglect .. never again to produce its tasty apple (sniff).  Many apples too had been scoffed, and many fungi had been … er … rejected.  Once, as we were going down the lane, we chanced upon an amazing sight – a group of classic poisonous red Fly Agaric red fungi with white spots!  We’d never seen these for real before, and they were much larger than I imagined them.  One could almost imagine the caterpillar sitting on the largest one smoking his hookah!  No, we didn’t find any magic mushrooms – honest!  Now Y Ddôl has been left to suicidal bats (we were always ejecting them … never found where they were coming in), multitudinous spiders, and Brian, the carpenter, who’s supposed to be building a staircase at some point.  I really miss the place … filling up with smuts in the winter (cough! wheeze!), the ever-encroaching mud, the ankle-biting draughts down at flagstone level, the enervating semi-tropical heat in the crog-loft, chopping up logs, re-arranging the wood store yet again (don’t ask!), and even chopping down the odd semi-dead tree in the forest … all part of the rich tapestry of life off-grid with no central heating! 

The season of cheap flights arrived, and with it Tamsin and Manué, en route from the less-than-utopian La Palma, via a bit of parental luxury (such as a mattress), to the promise of Costa Rica.  La Palma is full of escapees from the harsh northern European climate (political, as well as the weather), trying many alternative lifestyles, but they all live in the mountains where land is cheaper, and the weather cooler, ironically!  And this year, while normally cold, damp little Britain roasted, La Palma was cooler and it actually rained in the summer (hmm … wonder what the Spanish is for ‘quelle horreur!’), due to the vagaries of the jet stream and global warming.  This was the last straw for Tamsin … she needed guaranteed warmth all year round!  Costa Rica started to impinge upon her consciousness as a possibility, which soon became a definite after her friend plus child decided to join this raw food vegan community on the east coast and felt very welcome.  She was having doubts about spending another cool winter in La Palma, at the less-than-welcoming Pacha Mama almost-community, with its lack of aims, changing dynamic, as folks came and went, and too much smoking and drinking.  So when she split up for good with Davor (partly because he found Manué really difficult), who did much to help her find foraged food on the island, and failing to find anyone else with whom to share her foraging lifestyle, she decided to pack up her summer camp idyll in the beautiful forested caldera (UNESCO Biosphere Reserve), and head for possibilities new … again …

Our month of living in a confined space with a frustrated Manué was … interesting (!).  For a Thomas the Tank Engine obsessed little boy, it was a shame that he had to leave all of his engines, and associated accoutrements behind on La Palma with his friends.  This made all of his extra track here somewhat redundant.  Unsurprisingly, this did not go down too well with Manué.  When the weather was OK, we did manage to distract him with long bike-rides through sheep fields and playing Pooh Sticks in the river at Baunton (local posh village), but mostly, he’d have been much happier if he’d been here in the 30° heat of summer, in the buff!  This month-long tantrum-filled endurance test culminated in four (!) trips to the dentist just to fill two holes (sigh).  Apparently, Manué had endured a bad experience with a dentist on La Palma, and was so traumatized by the whole experience that, even though his teeth hurt, wild horses couldn’t have dragged him through the door!  Tamsin was almost reduced to tears trying to reason with him, whilst trying to unpeel each little finger from the door handle.  On the second occasion, he promised to at least go into the dentists, and play with the toys, but absolutely refused to go into Jonathan’s treatment room because ‘it smells funny’.  However, Jonathan chatted very patiently with Manu, and managed to persuade him one more step along the way, to come in again, where he promised to check out his teeth in the ante-room, amongst all the toys, even giving Manu his own little dentists mirror to play with, as well as lots of bribery in the way of stickers!  Manué was impressed!  We were impressed!  And then Jonathan unveiled his master-stroke … the DVD player above the dentist’s chair!  Manu was hooked … yes, he would definitely allow Jonathan to fill his teeth next time, if he could watch any film he liked, and could have more stickers.  Deal done!  And amazingly, Jonathan wouldn’t accept any payment!  Jonathan, being an anti-fracking activist, would, however, accept in lieu of payment, the delivery of lots of anti-fracking posters around town, which Tamsin and Bob were happy to do.  Tamsin was over the moon, as this is absolutely the way that she loves to operate.  She prefers to exchange skills rather than monetary transactions.  In La Palma, she gave an English lesson to the daughter of the previous dentist who treated Manu … hmm … perhaps it doesn’t always work out? 

Tamsin does have some amazing language skills – we’ve seen her in action at Gatwick, sorting out problems for a Spanish family, who didn’t speak much English, with officials at Gatwick, who of course, knew no Spanish (sigh).  Apparently, she did a lot of this sort of thing with tourists in La Palma.  Since she has ‘alternative’ friends from many European countries, and has lived in a fair few, she apparently is fairly fluent in Spanish, Portuguese, German, Dutch and Italian, even a little Danish.  Very useful.  Even Manu discovered that speaking another language can pay off.  Whilst at a local food market here in Cirencester, he heard Italian being spoken on the gelato stall, and promptly announced that he could speak Italian.  After a little conversation with the stall-holder, he was rewarded with a free ice-cream!  Actually, according to Tamsin, he’s been known to correct her Italian grammar!  At that age, children just seem to absorb languages like a sponge, especially when playing with friends, as they’re just so desperate to fit in.  I remember listening to Rupert speaking with his street friends, when we lived in Namibia.  They were chatting to each other in a wonderful mish-mash of English, German, and Afrikaans!  Of course, they all spoke the different languages, but not well enough to use one language with everyone, so they’d made up this pidgin language – very inventive!

And so, on November 10th, Costa Rica awaited the arrival of the intrepid explorers after the true meaning of how to live a good life.  After two flights (via Orlando) to San José, the capital, a knackering four-hour bus journey, and no sleep (at least for Tamsin), Tamsin and Manué were made to feel very welcome by all who met them at the bus stop in the local town, Cahuita, even giving them the best bedroom for the night to recover!  I think this overwhelmed her, and she took it as an auspicious sign that all would be well.  Manué has celebrated his 6th birthday with his new friends, and has even taken to occasionally eating salads!  It’s amazing what kids will eat if they want to fit in with their friends!  I'm imagining everyone on the beach with a warm sea and warm sun ... ah, what a life!  In reality, the humidity, mosquitos and potential dengue fever might take the edge off Paradise somewhat!  Tamsin really has got down to basics, as washing clothes is a bit of a chore, with nothing ever drying properly, so she's mostly taken to wandering around naked instead.  She seems to have become involved in writing the rules that will govern the community, and has been down to the community’s several hectares of cleared jungle to plant some fruit trees and see the ‘lie of the land’, so to speak.  There are aspects of modern life which she sees as an intrusion, such as everyone owning their own cars, and there are some downright silly suggestions as to how to continue to ford the large river that cuts off their land from the road when it floods, i.e., filling it full of large boulders!  Ha!  As Tamsin pointed out, the full force of a river in flood at 3 metres higher than usual will sweep away any number of large boulders!  It would appear that there are a few naiive folks among this community.  Hey, ho!  Tamsin may need all the communication skills she can muster.  As she says, for quality of life, she would have stayed in La Palma, if she could have found people who wanted her to stay.  However, these people in Costa Rica have welcomed her, and for the time being, she’ll see how things pan out.                 

Rupert’s life, by contrast, is pretty much ordered, though in a chaotic sort of a way, i.e., his calendar fills up with paid gigs, rehearsals, work shifts, and teaching drums, but is subject to crazy changes of plan at short notice, often down to failure to co-ordinate brain with calendar (… where? … what? … why? … ).  Jess, his girlfriend, is very long-suffering, as some days they only see each other for evening meal, or sometimes not even that, as Rupert embarks on yet another night shift accompanying disabled Tom to a night-club, mini-festival or gig.  Nice work if you can get it!  Jess works in retail, and this can mean starting as early as 7 a.m., or finishing at 7 p.m. depending on the day.  Neither work ‘regular’ hours.  Amazing that they ever see each other at all, especially at this time of year, when Jess is busily working on artistic commissions for Christmas presents in her ‘spare’ time, and Rupert’s bands all have Christmas gigs!  Welcome to the ‘gig’ economy (groan …)! 

The alien (to us!) concepts of sport and keeping fit appear to have taken over whatever passes for ‘free time’ in Rupert’s life.  As he points out, one needs to keep fit to play the drums, and the cycling just sort of developed from that.  The hardest challenge appears to be finding good outdoor gear supporting ‘Fair Trade’!  Then there was the ‘Tough Mudder’ challenge – not what you’d think of as ‘normal’ Rupertly activity.  This involves putting yourself (as part of a team) through all sorts of sometimes painful, almost impossible, obstacle challenges in as short a time as possible, whilst relying on your friends (in this case Amber and Antoine, Tom’s brother) to drag each other over and under however many metre-high barriers are in the way of that long, hot shower at the finish.  Think of those hated school obstacle courses, only infinitely worse, but run by ‘The Demon Headmaster’!  Lying face down in mud whilst trying to avoid being whiplashed by dancing electricity cables conjures up an interesting image!  And it is deliberately very, very muddy!

Gig-wise, Rupe seems to have been on a year-long ‘tour’ with ‘Jenny Darren & the Lady Killers’. She reached the first round of ‘Britain’s Got Talent’ until one of the tabloids apparently uncovered something from Jenny’s past that didn’t fit their expectation of what a rock’ n roll granny should be (!), but which had the effect of getting her voted off the show.  However, this did create a flurry of excitement for a while!  ‘Dealer’, meanwhile, has a faithful Belgian fan, who always comes to their gigs in England, as long as they’re within a certain radius of the ferry port, so that he can slip into work the following morning (presumably with very dark sunglasses).  ‘Ow!’ … (pfizz!) … oh, a little pile of dust … where’s that Igor when you need him?  Now that’s one helluva fan!  And thus came about the Belgium, Germany and France festival mini-tour in the summer.  Fame at last  … yay!  Dealer’s name is at least getting known in Europe … whoohoo!    

Meanwhile, the rest of us lead rather prosaic lives (well, mostly me).  Bob is definitely getting into this retirement thing.  Mostly, he’s into environmental activism … Green Party, People’s Vote, anti-fracking, Friends of the Earth … However, earlier in the year, he started going to T’ai Chi classes, which seems to involve learning lots of complicated moves, which follow on from each other, and executed with grace, poise and good balance (!).  (Arghh! … cognitive dissonance … the words Bob, grace and poise in the same sentence do not compute … ).  The process of learning complex moves helps with sustaining mental and physical abilities, without actually stressing you out, or making you sweat profusely!  Now that sounds like my sort of exercise!  Unfortunately, the guy running it became ill, and the lessons stopped.  Then Bob discovered ‘The Men’s Shed’.  As the title would suggest, this is an all-day club for blokes who like making things.  You just turn up and use the tools that are there, and meet other like-minded folks.  Odd projects happen there.  For instance, a trebuchet … yes, someone was constructing an actual working scaled-down version of a Roman trebuchet!  What a whacky, but fun idea to have come up with!  After many tweaks and alterations, it was finally ready to … um … pound the garden wall?  Hmm … maybe it could be adapted for tennis practice …

It was mid-August, a hot day down at Y Ddôl, and Joy the Intrepid was feeling rather tired after the many skirmishes with the evil briars.  Suddenly, a wave of nausea took over … was it the water? (the filter hadn’t been changed for … um … two years) … could it be too many blackberries (the briars’ revenge)?  After about a week, the problem subsided, though never entirely went away.  For 7 months, I had been feeling on top of the world, so maybe the briar-killing ought to cease for a while, to allow us oldies to gather our strength for the next onslaught.  Meanwhile, it was scan time again.  The results were a bit grim, or rather v. grim.  More poisoning … noooo!  Just when my hair had grown back and was looking good … curses!  Those sneaky tumour cells had developed cunning plans and clever tricks in order to sabotage our containment plan. The cancer had out-evolved the ability of the Tamoxifen to contain it.  So now, my life revolves around twice-weekly visits to the hospital, interminable waiting, long slow poisonings, and feeling like death warmed up.  Hmm … reminds me of life in a Victorian melodrama, where the heroine is slowly being fed arsenic by her wicked uncle in order to obtain her fortune … except the fortune bit … haven’t got one of those!

The good news is that I’ve finally finished the paper on our joint pyrite decay project in the Oxford University Museum of Natural History that had been started three years ago with Phil Hadland, who also used to work at the Museum – yay!  I’ve sent it off to ‘Geological Curator’, and I’m hoping that they will accept it for publication, as they are producing an issue totally devoted to things pyrite sometime in late Spring 2019.  Fingers crossed!  With a bit of luck, there won’t be too many alterations, or I can’t guarantee that the old blitzed brain will be able to cope … what’s pyrite? … what’s a paper? …

I’m so sorry that this letter is so late (due to the above circumstances) … but on the bright side, it is still officially Yuletide … though possibly a little late for Christmas as we know it, Jim.  So, we’ll wish you all a Happy Yule instead!  Unless you’re in Iceland, where the evil Yule Cat may get you …

Lots and lots of love and best wishes from Joy, Bob, Rupert, Tamsin and Manué

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